Monday, 27 June 2016

Guest blog from Kate J White

Hello everyone, It's Kay here, and today I'm delighted to welcome a newcomer to the erotica scene - please say hello to Kate J White...

Thank you so much to the awesome Brit Babes for inviting me to write about my creative process. This topic actually made me sit down and consider my development as a writer over the last few years; I have learned a lot along the way.

It was actually my gruelling commute that made me write. My frustration at passing hours every day without anything more than reading Metro and updating Facebook to show for it. The waste was irritating, but not enough for me to make a real change by logging heavy books around or uploading language courses, because admitting to myself how bad my commute was would make me depressed. Mentally, every day, I pretended it was just this once, it wasn’t forever. I wasn’t able to throw in the towel and prepare for the journey, that would mean defeat.

Around the same time, my love life shifted into high-octane gear. My husband and I had opened up our relationship a few years earlier, and had slowly began exploring what opportunities there were out in the big bad world of wife-swapping. I met someone, and dreams I’d had since I was a girl suddenly became true. The universe transformed and the contours of everyday objects became sharper. And this wonderful man asked me to write about it.

So between emails on my work iPad, I started gathering fragments of pleasure and delight, of laughter and silent happiness. I wrote a whole stash of documents in Notes for iPad on the train to work. Eventually, my husband started calling it “the book”, despite my protests. Nevertheless, when I finally pieced together all the fragments I had, long after my lover and I had parted ways, I realised it actually was the outline of a book.


My creative process has improved in leaps and bounds since those first steps. I have learned what works for me and to leave the writing for a while if it feels too much like a chore. It should always feel connected and engaged, even if it’s sometimes less than pleasurable.

I don’t write in trains any more, thank God my commute hasn’t been so bad for a while. Nowadays, when I have time, I sit down to write in an airy room or somewhere with lots of natural light. I close my eyes and focus on what the topic of the day is. I often read something similar which reminds me of the feeling I want to evoke, or if I wrote about a person already I re-read it, update it and get in the right headspace to continue.  If it’s about a location, I revisit the website and any pictures.

I don’t tend to return to old messages and emails, sometimes it’s a little painful and most of the time I’d rather write first to capture how I experienced the relationship, chemistry and sparks. When I have a good first draft, I’ll go back and check details or my own recollection of events. I have found that if the objective checking of real events comes first, my own memories and the hues they have taken on over time can evaporate and what remains is a bland recounting of steps and logistics. The feeling is gone. Starting from the passion and my subjective mental picture, it’s easier to adjust back to reality enough for it to be true but still very personal.

There’s much out there to be inspired by, to bring into writing and eventually to share. I enjoy learning and developing, and I’m eager to peek around the corner. I thank you for any ideas and feedback in advance, in return I promise to stay true and write very sexy stories for us all to enjoy…

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Brief description of book:

“Tough Love is an erotic memoir of a married woman, a mother and business executive, who together with her husband decides to have an open marriage after many years together. The resulting adventures are both expected: exciting sex, strange characters and suspicious neighbours, and unexpected: male escorts sharing their wares for free, wedding invitations where she’s slept with both bride and groom and some remarkable friendships. The story is a declaration of love to London and its people, and all of it is true – it really happened.”


Short bio:

Kate Julia lives and loves in London. Her writing is all self-experienced and it all really happened.
Already done with the standard story of good job, marriage, mortgage, kids and SUV, she and her husband decided to their open their relationship up and explore all the capital has to offer. The effects were profoundly life-changing, offering Kate an opportunity to finally act on her long-standing desire to explore the world of kink. After a few years of sexual adventures both on the swinging scene and in BDSM dungeons, she succumbed to the temptation to write it all down. This is her first book, and he’s currently busy “gathering material” for the next one.

Link to amazon listing of kindle book:


(other formats coming soon)

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Social media links:



https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30215245-tough-love

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Many thanks Kate, great blog. Good luck on your future adventures.
Kay and the Babes xx

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